Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
