Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
