im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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