I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
