Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i think my cat just said my name.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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