the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
