So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
