I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
