Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
