You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
