So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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