eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
