she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
