I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
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