I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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