You're completely useless in the revolution.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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