if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
