wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
