I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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