My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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