You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
