you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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