question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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