Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just found puke in my bra..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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