It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you didnt know i had herpes?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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