I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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