All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
