Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
