think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
