It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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