Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
