beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
