Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
