my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize