Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
