I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
