Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
