just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
