I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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