I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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