i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize