Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
