Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
