My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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