google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize