There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
