Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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