Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
