Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
