The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
