so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
