So gin and wine won't be happening again
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
