Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
