I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
