True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
