so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
