she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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