I think I died a long time ago.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
